When I wrote The Art of Negotiation, I knew I was on to something.
I already had a sneak preview into the minds of others, what they were struggling with, where the pit falls were and what was stoping them from reaching their full potential with the deals they were negotiating.
It’s fair to say, that I didn’t realise how popular the book would become but I knew the topic was dead on target with what people cared about most.
I want to offer 2 quick tips on how to successful accelerate and improve your deal making that you can implement today.
Eliminate need. Deals are often controlled by those who want them least. It’s an odd phenomenon but it’s true. The person that wants or needs the deal the least controls the deal. To add an extra twist…this doesn’t have to be true, it’s the perception that counts. I’ll give you an example, when Ryan Serhant, was starting out his real estate career he saw a casting ad for Bravo’s Million Dollar Listing New York, they were looking for brokers to join the show. Hundreds of brokers turned up on casting day, including Ryan. Long story short — he made it to final round of interviews, the crew requested to follow Ryan around all day to get a sense of how he operated his business, the issue was, Ryan didn’t have much of a business so speak, well, not the one he’d been making himself to appear like having. What did Ryan do? He booked himself solid, having appointments every 15 minutes across New York City. Then after 3 hours, because he’d run out of viewings to show the crew, he decided to leave them in an apartment, he said, “look I am very busy and need to attend to an urgent matter, I hope you have seen enough and if you’d like to cast me, you know how to reach me” and then he left. It was a bold strategy, but, it had about a 50% chance of actually working. He got the part! Do you know why? Can you see it? He created a scenario whereby it actually looked like he didn’t have time for them, whilst everyone else was fawning over how to impress them, look at how busy I am, Ryan, by leaving them half way through actually acted like a busy person that didn’t have time. Time = value. The less time you have the more valuable it is. The result, they wanted him. They perceived him to need the deal the least and therefore it worked in his favour. Now, there’s a certain skill to this and timing must be right. You can’t walk out of an interview half way through siting that you’re late for another appointment, thats just poor planning. But you can, have your phone ring off the hook, or have a hard stop, and a calendar thats full to the brim to show them. If you actually had 6 interviews that day you’d act different with your time, your answers, you wouldn’t waffle, you’d get it done and this would convey to the interviewer that you were someone on a mission — someone they should hire.
Listen deeply — magical deals are made by people who listen deeply to what the other party wants. The trouble is it’s hard to listen deeply. We are so focused on what we are going to say, even when we tell ourselves that we must listen and the details are about to be revealed, we don’t, we fall short, way short. Practice listening to your significant other when they speak, train yourself not to interrupt or cut them off, or finish their sentences. These are all ways we are getting in our own way. Did you know that finishing someones sentences actually psychologically comes across as arrogant? Know why? Because by finishing the sentence you are signalling to them that you know better. It’s not just that you know what they were going to say, it’s that you are rushing them along, pressuring them, unconsciously signalling that “I know better than you”. Learn to control this habit and direct your full attention toward the person in front of you, when you get this right, they feel it. The tension relaxes, their shoulders drop down and the conversation can begin.
Negotiation is the #1 skill that you can invest in yourself today to improve.
It can take you to places unknown and unlock doors you can only dream about. This is where you make the impossible, possible and it is why I have spent hundreds of hours crafting this course, The Highly Skilled Negotiator, to help you achieve your big goals, dreams and mission and become an expert in influence and persuasion. Don’t sleep on this opportunity, just take action and move forward.
Or grab a copy of The Art of Negotiation and start your negotiation journey today! A world full of better negotiators is a better world!
Key Concepts:
1. Negotiation Basics: Tim Castle emphasizes that negotiation is a skill everyone uses, whether negotiating for a job, buying a house, or in daily interactions. He views negotiation as essential to success in both personal and professional life.
2. Preparation is Key: According to Castle, success in negotiations starts with thorough preparation. Understanding what you want and anticipating the other party’s needs is critical. Being clear on your goals helps build confidence.
3. Communication: Active listening, understanding the other side’s perspective, and asking the right questions are central to effective negotiation. Castle stresses the importance of non-verbal communication and the power of silence in negotiations.
4. Stamina and Resilience: In challenging negotiations, Castle advises cultivating mental toughness and persistence. Success often requires pushing through discomfort and obstacles, especially when negotiations hit roadblocks.
5. Relationship Building: Castle promotes the idea of integrative negotiation, where both parties work together to create value rather than simply trying to take the most for themselves. Building relationships with your negotiating partner fosters trust and long-term success.
6. Silence and Pauses: One of the more tactical strategies Tim mentions is the power of silence. Allowing space for the other party to reflect can lead to more favorable outcomes.
7. Real-World Examples: The book includes several case studies and real-world examples, from personal experiences to corporate negotiations, to illustrate negotiation strategies in action.
Notable Quotes by Tim Castle:
1. “Negotiation is supposed to be fun. If you’re not enjoying the process, you’re doing it wrong.”
2. “The key to successful negotiation is clarity — knowing exactly what you want before you step into the negotiation room.”
3. “Once you realize that ‘it is possible,’ you will experience more success than you ever thought possible.”
4. “Being an integrative negotiator does not mean revealing everything. It means being open to the idea of working together.”
5. “The difference between an average negotiator and a world-class one is the ability to roll with the punches and still come out on top.”
6. “You can’t control every factor in a negotiation, but you can control how prepared you are and how you respond.”
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